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The craziest things you can buy on Amazon

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By Tyler Lacoma


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We already have plenty of evidence that Amazon is willing and able to sell absolutely anything, either via its online store or through any of its associated Amazon.com partners (including, in a few months, living Christmas trees straight from the farm).

But we wondered, what other odd items can you actually buy from the site? We did a bit of digging, and it didn’t take us long to find some pretty interesting offerings. From the absurd to the scary to the “What? That is something that exists in the world?” here are just a few of the craziest things that Amazon currently sells.

Let’s see if any of them speak to you. We’ll start with an easy one: Giant bugs.

Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches ($9.50)

Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches

We bet you’ve just been longing for some huge, hissing cockroaches. Even better than the fact that these are available on Amazon is that they are a mixed-sex pair, so technically they may be able to breed. Regardless of whether you’re in need of cockroach babies roaming around your house, at least this pair won’t be lonely. Seriously, these giant cockroaches are sold as pets, and they are popular enough to be an Amazon’s Choice item. They can’t survive freezing temperatures, but we’re expecting an infestation of giant bugs in all the warmer states any day now.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Allwood Eagle Vista Cabin Kit ($64,650)

Allwood Eagle Vista Cabin Kit

Forget Zillow, just do your house hunting on Amazon. This $65,000 house is actually a kit for a cabin. It’s a two-story house in a simple ranch style with about 1,336 square feet to work with. Extra roof insulation is included for building in areas that have harsher weather. The modular housing trend is definitely ongoing, but you don’t see too many options for building your own home right out of a kit. Believe or not, there’s a whole subset of these kits on Amazon that you can buy, although this is one of the largest.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

12-Inch Shiitake Mushroom Growing Log ($32)

12 Shiitake Mushroom Log

It’s a log. You grow mushrooms on it. The purpose is pretty clear, but exactly why you may want to buy these logs on Amazon is uncertain. Shiitake mushrooms are a popular ingredient in a variety of delicious dishes, but if you really want to grow your own, maybe you should just create your own growing station with a free tree log? At least these kits inject spores into the logs so you don’t have to worry about that part yourself…but they do take some intensive care, including up to a year of waiting for anything to happen (and that’s before the water soaking phase).

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Sigma 200-500mm APO EX DG Ultron-Telephoto Zoom Lens ($26,000)

Sigma 200-500mm APO EX DG Ultron-Telephoto Zoom Lens

Let’s pretend that you are a successful wilderness photographer who was just asked to take pictures for National Geographic. “Where can I find the best possible lens in the world for this project?” you ask yourself. And then you hop on Amazon and find that they really do have absolutely everything you need—including a $26,000 ultra telephoto zoom lens. Will any DSLR owners actually purchase this lens? It’s hard to tell: Most of the reviews are comedy pieces (like this one), and while funny, don’t prove that anyone has actually purchased this lens yet.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

100 Mixed Ink Pens with Misprints ($14)

100 Mixed Ink Pens wit Misprints

You have to admit, this is pretty high up the crazy scale: It’s literally just a bag of pens with misprinted logos. The description assures us that the pens are all high quality and suggests that you give them away at conventions…which kind of ruins the point of going to the convention, doesn’t it? Yet this is also a popular choice item on Amazon. We have to wonder why. Maybe pens are like coins, and if you find the right misprint the pen is worth thousands of dollars? Or maybe people just really like misprinted cheap pens.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Keyboard Waffle Iron ($60)

Keyboard Waffle Iron

At first glance this joke item makes a little sense: Haha, it’s a waffle maker for tech fans, look at the keyboard shape. But the more you think about it, the crazier it gets. First, who exactly is going to appreciate regular meals of keyboard-sized waffles? You’d have to be a big waffle fan, and a really big keyboard fan. Second, you’ve probably made waffles before, right? We know how it goes when you pour and press: The only thing this waffle iron is going to produce is a long mutant waffle that barely resembles a keyboard.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Beer Aerator ($23)

Beer Aerator

It took some guts to create a sonic foamer for beer. Look, we love a good tech gadget here, but this beer aerator is…a coaster that shakes your beer to give it a better head. Fellow beer drinkers, answer me: How many times have you wished that your beer had more foam, instead of less? Vanishingly few in these nitrogen-injection times. Plus, vibrating your beer around doesn’t create more bubbles out of magic, it just releases nitrogen that’s already in your beer, so technically you’re just making your beer flatter, faster. But hey, you can change the LED light to different colors!

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Lladro Niagara Chandelier ($102,050)

Lladro Niagara Chandelier

Of course you can buy chandeliers on Amazon, but we bet no one is prepared for a chandelier quite like this. It’s made of innumerable hanging gold and silver butterflies (some may be moths, in fairness), and the gold versions are made with real gold. To get this chandelier, you would have to dish out more than $100,000. But the truly crazy part is all those dangling pieces. You look at this chandelier the wrong way, and it’s going to get tangled up for the rest of time. Who’s going to untangle your exquisite gold butterflies? Well, servants, probably.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Giant Gummy Python ($150)

Giant Gummy Bear Python

Here’s the thing about this giant gummy python: It’s an honestly impressive attempt at something unique that’s also completely insane. There is no situation in the world where you would not be better off simply bringing: 1. a lot of gummy bears, or 2. an actual living giant python. We don’t care of you’re at a party, a circus, a date, or a school lecture, it still holds true. Oh, and it only lasts for 12 months on the shelf, just in case you were thinking about using it as a $150 decoration around the house.

Buy it now at:

Amazon

Real Human Ribs, Group of 5 ($90)

Real Human Ribs, Group of 5

Can you buy a human rib on Amazon? Yes you can! What if you specifically need five of them? No problem! We are curious why someone would want a few ribs around. The post doesn’t mention if they are well-suited for medical study or magic rites or even where the bones are from, although we do learn that they are “natural bone quality A,” which doesn’t sound like a real thing to us. But who knows? Need some bones, buy some bones. Amazon has you covered.

Buy it now at:

Amazon


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